Judy Opens, Smashing Records

Not LP’s. The records Judy smashed were for revenues in an opening week. That’s saying a lot. And Judy says a lot in this 85 minute show. We were sold out Saturday night and Sunday afternoon, and had 200 in the house for opening. The first two previews were 75% full. That amounts to an impressive first week of attendance.

Two standing ovations so far. Scattered standing for opening night. A little bit reserved has become our opening night crowd. Largely straight and straight-laced and nervous for us that we do well. We should get them liquored up first, no? They ate up a lot of the show — especially the sharper, darker, more political humor. Our fancy people don’t love the light-hearted Jewish thing. Many others seems to. Judy’s light-hearted thing is the array of Jewish mother jokes; mom serving rugguluch to New Jersey’s finest; mom being annoyingly obsessive on the answering machine; that’s a kind of typical jewish mother joke our leadership doesn’t love. But Judy calling George Bush a “dirty, rotten, no-good piece of shit” and getting reprimanded by Howard “Hot Head” Dean for it is just the kind of DC humor our audience adores.

And there’s plenty of that in this show which is poised to do well. But then it was reported to me last night that Sir Peter (Marks, that is) bolted out of the theater, the first one out the door. He, reportedly, “had a smile on his face.” I never saw the man. A good review would be nice. It would mean that we’d add to this already large advance and maybe we wouldn’t have to sweat so much about whether we’ll be able to raise another big chunk of change to bring home the rest of the season. But I’m afraid, no matter how well 25 QUESTIONS performs, that fundraising will be called upon. Tis what needs to be done.

We’re a week away from our Benefit, a Roast of moi. Who thought of this idea? Who approved it? i knew it wouldn’t sell. We’ve brought in $20,000 so far, but will we make our desired $30K? Maybe. Will I be left standing at the end of the night? How vicious will it get? Judy Gold teaches us one thing about comedy:
If it bleeds, it leads. No wait, that’s journalism. Judy teaches us that to wound is a good thing. To bludgeon is better. To be vicious is to be victorious. And to be nice is lethal. As in dead. So if the event next Monday night is success, expect me to be wounded; mortally struck by the amount of vitriol and critical backlash my dear community has been harboring. That’s why all I’m focussing on are the numbers. We need more numbers. More butts in the seats. Even blog readers are invited! And if you can’t afford the ticket, call our development associate, Catherine Frels who’s running this benefit. We’ll work out a deal. Remember: Someone’s gonna have a good time watching me bleed. It just might not be me.

Now I know how Judy Gold’s mother must feel… Small comfort. May her show do well for us all.